Fun stuff at the Walmart this morning. But before I begin I should explain that I am very sick and only ventured out to get some more meds to help me cope. My throat and neck are so sore and stiff that talking is extremely painful. If I do talk I sound something like an old goat with throat cancer. Add to that my constant sinus headache and the painful pressure in my ears and I am sure you can imagine my less than perky attitude this morning.
We picked up my meds and a few more things for the kids to tide us over until I'm better again. Owen and Beckah were excellent and most helpful considering they are 2 and 3. In my basket was a six pack of the little cans of rootbeer so we could make some rootbeer floats to go with the little Family Home Evening I had Cadence help me plan.
I'm at check out waiting my turn. All is going very well. The kids aren't even begging for candy. Then along comes a little old lady with a cart full of hard liqueur (at least 11 bottles), beer, and several bags of chips. She tells me my kids "look nice" in that tone of voice that says "I actually hate children but I'll act socially acceptable in public." I say that they are nice and I'm willing to let it go there. I start to load my stuff on the belt.
This little old lady spots the root beer. At that moment she must have decided she had a death wish. It's the only explanation I can think of for what she said next.
"What kind of mother are you to give your little kids SODA."
I'm sure my eyebrows did a little social climbing, but with my throat feeling like I'd swallowed broken glass all I did was shake my head and ignore the crazy woman.
"Well! What do you have to say for yourself young woman?!" At that I smiled, because really? Of all the people in the Walmart this woman has to find me? Feeling like I do? It's laugh or punch her in the face. I'm pretty sure that Jesus would want me to laugh. The old lady was still talking but I only caught the last bit...
"...and you certainly don't deserve those sweet babies if you are just going to poison them with SODA."
That was really just too much. I forgot all about Jesus (so sorry about that, really I am) looked at the woman, looked pointedly at the contents of her cart then back to the woman and then gave her the bird.
I'm a bad bad person, but the look on her face was so very worth it.
She sputtered a bit saying something like, "Well I never" and "Young people" and "respect." I'm not entirely sure since I was checking out at that point. Then she says, "I should report you for abusing those kids."
I just started laughing. It hurt really bad, but really that was just funny. Report me for giving my kids root beer. I wasn't the only one laughing though. The checker, the woman behind the old lady and the checker next to us were all laughing. The old woman looked ready to explode so I just told her to have a nice day and took the kids and walked out.
Why do I attract the crazies?
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