I'm taking pictures again...

But just of the kids.  I didn't renew my photography website this year.  It was a big step for me to let it go.  There was a big part of me that still wanted to get a business going again and so I held on to it even though I wasn't doing anything with it for the last four years.

The loss of my iMac last year made me face somethings that I don't think I wanted to face.  I love taking photos and editing those photos.  I love the finished product and seeing people's reactions to their preserved memories.

I don't enjoy setting up backdrops and props.  It's why almost all of my kids pictures are simple portraits, even as babies.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE seeing everyone's new babies all wrapped in a basket, or bed of flowers, or hanging from a limb.  I love seeing pictures like that and admire photographers creativity in making those photos a reality.  I just don't like setting them up myself.  I don't like having to have back drops and extra lights, both of which can be very necessary.  I spent 5 years in college for an almost completed photography degree.  Believe me, I know the value of a studio set up and that studio set ups can be necessary.  But I don't like having to set them up.

I don't like negotiating price with people.  I don't like that people expect high end photos with Walmart prices.  I don't like that people don't respect the time and effort it takes to get them those high end photos.  I have been lucky.  Most of my clients in the past have been wonderful and totally understand the value of what I do (and I wasn't even close to expensive).  Most of my clients have given me memories and experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.  I have worked for so many friends and family and I fell blessed to have the ability to give them permanent memories of those brief times in their lives.  But there have been more than a handful of clients I have turned away because they felt that my price and my time were negotiable.

I love taking pictures, but I don't the business of taking pictures.  It took until November of last year for me to admit this to myself.  It took me until January for me to admit that it was okay for me to feel this way and to let my website go.

I'm still a photographer.  I even still consider myself a professional.  For now I will be taking pictures of my kids, and maybe some of your kids if I feel like dragging my monstrosity of a professional camera around.  And I am going to fall in love with being a photographer again without any pressure, mostly from myself.