10 Years

The traditional gift for a 10 year anniversary is tin or aluminum. 

Seriously.  I looked it up. 

Since I am really into researching things, I also decided to look up why tin is the traditional 10th anniversary gift.  While it can't be confirmed why exactly tin seems to be the universally accepted gift, there are many theories, there are a couple that seem to be at the top of the pile.  

Tin is soft and very flexible material.  It is said that the flexibility of the tin represents the flexibility of a good relationship, the give and take that makes a relationship strong and lasting.  A relationship can't last if the people involved can't bend a bit, give a little or a lot as need.  This seems like an apt representation of what my marriage is like these days.  There has had to be a lot of fexibility on both our parts to make life work with four little kids and a job in the military.  We also have had to trust that the metal we are both made of can give as much as needed without breaking under what sometimes feels like extreme pressure.  I trust that he can bend to the needs of his job and training, some that often require him to be out of arms reach, and still be true to me and to our family and it's needs. He trusts that I can weather whatever hits the home front, that I will keep our children safe and teach them to be strong and good, and be true to him and the life we are building together. 

The other theory is, I think, just as powerful.  In 1810 Peter Dunard patented the use of tin coated steel for the use of making cans to preserve food.  The tin coating the iron prevented corrosion and kept the food safe. Many believe that the gift of tin for this anniversary symbolizes the preservation and longevity that tin coated cans represented. This is also apt at this point in my marriage.  Despite what the world seems to think of love, it is something that needs careful preservation to maintain it's longevity.  It will change, yes.  It has to change to stay alive.  It changes with age and circumstance, but it can remain strong in it's many variations if we are careful to preserve and maintain it.  

I'm not going to lie.  It's not hard for me to keep loving Brady.  I don't know if he is special or if we, together, are unique.  I don't think we are, because I know lots other people who manage to keep loving their spouse year after year.  When I look at him I still see the man I fell readily in young, idealistic love with, but I also see the man that has gently held our once tiny babies in wonder and awe. The man that gave up time away from us to join the military and make a better life for our family. The man that loves to play computer games. The man that patiently teaches our children to do hard things.  The man that listens to me whine about life in general and still loves me. The man that keeps himself worthy to hold the priesthood and uses it to bless us, and recently to baptize our eldest.

He is all those men.  He wasn't always all of them.  He adapted as our life together changed.  He has bent and flexed in new and interesting ways to keep loving me, loving our family.  It's work, the bending, the flexing, the preserving and I think the only way you can keep loving each other through it all is to do that bending, flexing, and preserving together.  

Ten years ago today Brady and I were sealed together for time and all eternity in the Las Vegas, Nevada LDS Temple. 

It was a very hot, very sunny, very beautiful day.  I spent so much time grinning and laughing. It was amazing. 

Yes.  We had a donut tower and snow cones at our reception.
I know you're jealous. 

It was the one of the best days of my life and with out it most of the other best days of my life would have never happened.  The last ten years has been full of change and surprise, but mostly it has been happy and full of wonderfully ordinary days doing wonderfully ordinary things with a wonderfully ordinary man.  

Happy ten years to my wonderful husband.  I love you more now than I did the day we were married.  I look forward to were the next ten years will take us.  

And I can't wait until you are home with us again.